My 9-year coccyx pain journey, what finally worked!

Posted 2026-03-29

Hi everyone,

I've been wanting to write this for a while, and I figured if there's one place where people will actually find value in it, it's here. So here goes.

I'm Mat, I'm 37 now, and I've had coccyx pain for about 9 years. It started when I was around 28. Looking back, the cause was pretty obvious. I'd been sitting 10 to 14 hours a day since I was about 15. Desk work during the day, gaming at night, all on a terrible chair with absolutely shocking posture.

I also had this lovely habit of leaning my upper back against the headboard in bed. Years of that, plus zero flexibility from being basically sedentary, and my body just... tightened up around my coccyx in the worst way.

For a long time I thought it was just "one of those things." A bit of soreness. Then it got worse. And worse. And then I couldn't sit through a meal without shifting around like a fidgety kid.

I got married during this period, and honestly, it was hard on us. When your pain is so bad that you're lying face-down on the bed for half the day, it affects everything. You can't sit at dinner with your wife. You can't go to the movies. You can't drive anywhere without dreading it. It's isolating in a way that's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't been through it.

The wrong turn

At some point I bought a donut pillow, thinking that was the answer. It felt okay at first. But over about six months, it actually made things worse. (See Coccyx cushions and supports.)

I didn't realise it at the time, I just thought the pain was progressing. Looking back, the donut was redistributing pressure in a way that aggravated everything. If you're using one now, please reconsider.

The 3 things that actually changed everything

1. A proper coccyx cushion. I ended up going with the ComfyLife cushion, not a cheap knockoff. I bought four of them. One for my car, one for my work chair, one for my parents' house, one for the lounge at home. Having them everywhere meant I never had to "tough it out" in a bad seat. Absolute game changer.

2. A much softer bed. I was side-sleeping on a firm mattress and didn't connect it to my pain at all. But that's 7-8 hours of sustained pressure on the same spot every night. Switching to a significantly softer bed removed that constant nightly pressure. I wish I'd done it years earlier.

3. Diaphragmatic breathing. I know, sounds ridiculous. I was skeptical too. But chronic coccyx pain involves nerve sensitisation in that region. The nerves get stuck in "alarm mode."

Diaphragmatic breathing helps reset them. I did 20-30 deep belly breaths, twice a day. By day 15, the pain was dramatically reduced. I could sit at a friend's house without my cushion for 20-30 minutes. That hadn't happened in years.

Where I am now

90%+ reduction in pain. Still use the cushion and the soft bed, non-negotiable. My current focus is adding stretching and flexibility work, which I believe will get me to near-zero.

I've written more about my coccyx journey here for anyone who wants more details and specifics on what helped me.

And to Jon, thank you for building this community. When you're dealing with coccyx pain, it can feel like nobody understands.

This place helped me feel less alone during some really rough years. I hope my story helps someone the way others' stories helped me.

Wishing you all relief,

Mat