Some days I feel very down, angry and hopeless


Posted 2007-09-16


This site makes me want to cry and smile at the same time.

It's such an odd - almost unheard of thing to suffer from and the thing that drives me mad is that there is no clear cut answer, cure or treatment with desired results.

Towards the end of April 2007, I began experiencing some discomfort when I sat in my coccyx area. I did quite a lot of cycling, especially in the few months before that - I did on and off road cycling and had just replaced my saddles with quite hard saddles. I am also an Interactive designer so like most of the world I spend almost all my waking hours on my bottom.

At the time I had been sitting (badly) on a pilates ball - the ball was quite hard and I had the bad habit of rolling my pelvis down so all the pressure was on my tailbone.

It hurts to sit, drive, lie on my back and movies are a no-no.

I have tried a ring pillow, a donut inflatable cushion as well as an orthopedic wedge. I found sitting with a relatively thick rolled up blanket under my thighs - giving my coccyx some free space just before the back of the chair also helps - I have managed to strain my lower back muscles by arching my lower back in an attempt to avoid the pressure of sitting on my coccyx.

I am currently trying out the exorbitant Herman Miller Aeron chair to see if it helps - it still hurts when I get up but the mesh is much easier on my sacral area/back than foam and the lumbar support is amazing - also it tilts forward which is fantastic.

After ignoring the pain for several weeks - it began affecting my yoga too. So I went to my Chinese medicine doctor - who had been treating me for piles too - unsuccessfully. He seemed to think that the 2 were connected and put several needles in me - one directly on the coccyx and 2 on either side then some on various places down my legs. The pain got dramatically worse and bigger (not as localised) after that so I didn't go back.

I ignored the pain for a couple more weeks till I woke up crying and frustrated one morning - so I hit the www. Found this site and advice on seeing an osteopath - which I managed to find. After the first session my pain was radically reduced for a few days - then I worked almost all night and the next day had a meeting out of town - which required roughly an hour's drive - the pain was back full tilt.

I proceeded to go for treatments every 2 weeks for a while without any remarkable relief. He had me icing the area for 5 mins every few hours which also made very little difference.

I also went for an x-ray and based on my coccyx looking a little "bulbous" I went for a bone scan to rule out bone growth - fortunately there is none. I just have a round coccyx - whether I was born with it or it developed like this - it's a mystery.

Then I decided to go to a cranio-sacral therapist as well as for body- talk to investigate any emotional attachments this area might have.

My first session with the Body Talk therapist helped release a LOT of internal anger/rage and I felt lighter and joyful for the first time in ages - though the pain lifted only a little.

The cranio-sacral therapist had me apply a castor oil pack and warmth to the area - which also didn't make a massive difference but the area around did ease up.

Then the pain began getting better - sometimes I could sit, drive and get up with no pain. (Obviously during all this I had stopped cycling and yoga - but have begun my home practice again because the rest of me is suffering). Walking seems to help a little though.

Then almost a month ago - it got radically worse - worse then before which threw me on a huge downer.

2 weeks ago - both my body-talk therapist as well as the cranio- sacral therapist suggested the affects of parasites and that they hatch and become more toxic during full moon - which was around the time I got worse. So keeping an open mind I am currently doing a month long parasite cleanse.

The other thing my cranio-sacral therapist brought up this week is tampons! The penny dropped! For years I have been using organic cotton tampons. They're not readily available in South Africa with applicators so I usually get family visiting from abroad to bring as many boxes as possible. Near the beginning of the year they ran out and I began using a regular brand. This is a stretch - maybe - but if what is said about dioxin etc is true then hopefully after a few months of not using regular tampons I might feel a difference - I will definitely send feedback on this.

But this pain really has affected my quality of life and my partners. It's not fun to go to movies and we can't horse around like we used to. I don't really know whether having sex affects it or not - I haven't felt any major difference.

Some days I'm ok and happy and can handle but others I feel very down, angry and hopeless.

I haven't taken any pain killers or anti-inflamatories - I do rub on traumeel or voltaren most mornings - though no real difference is felt. I also can't really feel a difference whether I treat the area with heat or cold.

The pain has changed though - it never used to be painful when I got up - only when I sit - now it's sore when I get up and sometimes for the first few steps I take.

I'm flying to Australia this week - it's a 12 hour flight there and a14 hour flight back - I am going armed with Myprodol and a big blanket to roll under my thighs and a hopeful attitude that it won't be hell.

I know I have no cures or any major amazing news but maybe some other issues raised here can help someone.

Will keep in touch about the tampon theory however - for all the women out there.

Stay positive and let's all help each other heal.

What is coccydynia? | Investigation and diagnosis | Treatment | Coping with coccyx pain | Find a doctor or specialist

Medical papers | Personal experiences | Links to other sites | Support groups | Site map